tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-61247676563920592242024-02-07T09:39:48.783+07:00He designs a life she lovesValencia Nghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16641892031577954809noreply@blogger.comBlogger1406125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6124767656392059224.post-75630727884260302632018-03-16T01:31:00.001+07:002018-03-16T01:43:49.024+07:00Just enough. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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It's been a while since the last time I wrote on this blog, let alone writing about God. Maybe it's because I've stopped forcing myself to write on daily basis, like journals or anything so it became harder for words to be poured out. I also stopped reading books, and been skimming for a year or two, which made it even harder to write anything. But to be specific, the main reason why I rarely write about God these days is because I've been accusing myself as a hypocrite: for not living by the Word that I know and I believe. Not only me, but someone actually pointed it to me just how hypocritical I have always been. </div>
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It's not entirely wrong, though. Lately everything became routine, words became empty, relationships grew cold, anxiety kicked in, condemnation took place. All because I put myself and selfishness in the place where I should put Him first. It became hard to really trust that He is up to something good, that He knows what's best when I barely see anything. It became hard to really acknowledge the fact that He knows me, hears me, and here with me. It became hard for me to realize that He has been enough, all this time.<br />
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But lately, something interesting happened. And as always, I want to remember it. So I write this. And I'm writing this on my blog that if someone actually stumbled upon this, they might be reminded that His grace is really sufficient for His children.<br />
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Last week, my laptop charger broke. And it wasn't the first time. If you know me pretty well, then you must know just how destroyer I can be. But this time, it happened at the same time when my phone's port for charging also broke. I spent most of my time in front of my laptop, both for work and leisure. This way, I couldn't be reached, and I couldn't do my job as social-media designer. To make it worse, I had a deadline by Tuesday.<br />
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For a while, I used my dad's computer for Line and Facebook to reply messages. But still, it has no design software. But it was okay. It was <i>enough</i>. The other thing I found out that mom has exactly the same phone like me, so for a while, I can use her phone to charge my phone every 24 hour, and to reply Whatsapp. Once again, it was <i>enough </i>to get by.<br />
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Now the other problem is the laptop charger. The last time I broke mine was 3 years ago, my sister bought a new one for me and it was expensive enough. I have money to spare this time, so I won't ask my family to buy it for me. But then I found out that the current price is 50% more expensive than how much it was back then. It might be not expensive for some people, but for me, a person without full-time job and income, it was expensive enough. But thank God, with a help from my cousin and my mom, I brought the money (cash) to the nearest iBox on the day of the deadline. Jo, who wanted to find place to hangout, decided to come along with me.<br />
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The nearest iBox is in the mall near where I live. But they don't have the charger that suits my laptop. I moved to Infinite but their price is 150k more expensive than the one in iBox. So I left Jo doing her tasks in Sumoboo and I moved to the second iBox, located in the mall across the street. Andddddddd they don't have it also. I was getting annoyed and frustrated, especially because, the night before I called few iBox stores and they didn't answer. So I couldn't check whether they have my type of charger or not. So I asked them to call another iBox nearby. They finally found *one* charger left in the iBox +- 6 km from this one. And they said they'll be closing in 2-3 hours. It was 3 pm-ish - just 1 hour left before the rush hour, so I headed to this place using Busway. Just keep in mind that my phone was still not working so I left Jo without telling her that I moved.<br />
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When I arrived at this third store, the clerks said that they didn't receive the phone. I was completely frustrated at that time, thinking that it was completely wasting my time. My voice was shaky and I don't know but at that time I really wanted to cry out of frustration. One of the clerks tried to reach his friend who might be the one who received the call. Thank God, it was the one who received the call, and he saved this charger in the store room so no one would buy it except me,<br />
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Then I gave them all of the money that I brought and when they counted it, turns out .... it wasn't enough. I looked at them in disbelief, counted it, and realized that I miscounted the money at home. I need another 100k. At that time, I only had empty wallet and a phone that wasn't working. I couldn't call anyone to send me money. I was too tired to go back home and ask for another 100k. And if I could, I simply didn't want to lend any more money from my parents.<br />
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I went to ATM and I could only take 50k, then my ATM reached its limit. I put out everything from my bag and wallet and only found 20k. And few coins. What should I do now? I still need another 30k. Then I found 13 RM from my trip to Malaysia last month and in my super desperate attempt, I asked the security guard where I could find the nearest money changer. He said there was one in another building next to this place, on the 26th floor but he wasn't sure if it's still open or not. It was 4 pm already.<br />
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I rushed to that building and reached the 26th floor. I followed the signage to go left but couldn't find the money changer. I turned back, and it was actually in front of the elevator! And there they were, the owner and his worker, was locking the key of the money changer. I was bit screaming and seeing my desperate face, he finally let me in. I gave him it all and after a while, he gave me the money in Rupiah. I rushed back to the elevator, checked it, and it was only 26k (it was supposed to be 3.5 k per RM, but maybe they know I was desperate so he only made it 2k per RM). But I didn't care, I still needed it anyway. Then....when I opened my wallet, there it was, few coins and 2k that made it exactly 30k. My immediate response was laughing. Like, <i>is this a joke from God or something</i>. But I was relieved. If I took another elevator and late, even for a few minutes, they'd completely be closed and I wouldn't be able to exchange my money. If I only had 10 RM, for example, then the money wouldn't still be enough. It was the only chance and everything that I had............. and it was<i> just enough</i>.<br />
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I finally bought that charger. On my way back, I was walking to the nearest Busway stop when I heard the street musician singing a song. Unbelievably, it was worship song (trust me, it is quite rare to find someone sings a worship song on the street, especially when we are minority here). The street musician stood there with a guitar, and his wife stood beside him - carrying their child and collecting money. He sang,<br />
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How great ...... is Our God. Sing with me how great............ is Our God. All will see how great, how great....... is Our God. </blockquote>
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Yes, He is great. I know it was super silly experience, but it was the snap that I need. It was a reminder that His grace is always enough and that He is always present. As I continued walking to the busway stop, as the lights of the sunset reflected beautifully, as the song echoing from a far, I gave thanks.<br />
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<i>You are great. </i><br />
And <i>You have always been enough for me. </i>Valencia Nghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16641892031577954809noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6124767656392059224.post-44745419969026368122017-12-25T23:47:00.000+07:002017-12-26T13:37:06.737+07:00Broken Ladders<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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You never asked me to be king</div>
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Build my tower up to the sky</div>
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So why do I try</div>
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You never asked me to be rich</div>
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Buy the things that gold can buy</div>
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So why do I try</div>
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All You ever wanted was my heart</div>
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My heart, my simple heart</div>
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To You that's all that really matters</div>
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Why do I feel I have to reach</div>
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Believe I have to rise</div>
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When You never said I had to climb</div>
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These broken ladders</div>
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You never asked me to be complete</div>
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By myself, find all I need</div>
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So why do I try?</div>
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Oh, You never asked me to stand alone</div>
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Face the struggles on my own</div>
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So why do I try?</div>
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When all You ever wanted was my heart</div>
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My heart, my simple heart</div>
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To You that's all that really matters</div>
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Why do I feel I have to reach</div>
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Believe I have to rise</div>
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When You never said I had to climb</div>
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These broken ladders</div>
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'Cause all they do is take</div>
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My eyes off of You</div>
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Make me forget the truth</div>
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- Broken Ladders, Selah</div>
Valencia Nghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16641892031577954809noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6124767656392059224.post-40484342210883144192017-12-02T07:19:00.003+07:002017-12-02T07:22:10.623+07:00People leave, memories don't<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Where our eyes are never closing</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Hearts were never broken</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">And time's forever frozen still</span></div>
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Valencia Nghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16641892031577954809noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6124767656392059224.post-65141259861830403482017-11-29T07:51:00.000+07:002017-11-29T22:02:37.114+07:00Your Little One<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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There's no need to be afraid<br />
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Daddy's here and it's okay</div>
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My love will take the fear away</div>
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My little one<br />
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Give to Me the doubts and fears<br />
Pour out your heart I'll catch the tears<br />
I've always been the God who hears<br />
My little one<br />
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You've held it in a long, long time<br />
So let it out, it's okay to cry<br />
My heart and arms are open wide<br />
My little one<br />
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I'll hold you close and tight to Me<br />
I'll help you through the unbelief<br />
I said that I would never leave<br />
My little one<br />
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- <br />
Jon Thurlow - My Little One</div>
Valencia Nghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16641892031577954809noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6124767656392059224.post-56831357467832068992017-11-27T04:55:00.002+07:002017-11-27T04:55:59.310+07:00Seasons<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I can see the promise<br />I can see the future<br />You’re the God of seasons<br />I’m just in the winter<br />
<br />If all I know of harvest<br />Is that it’s worth my patience<br />
Then if You’re not done working<br />God I’m not done waiting<br />
<br />You can see my promise<br />Even in the winter<br />
Cause You’re the God of greatness<br />Even in a manger<br />
<br />For all I know of seasons<br />Is that You take Your time<br />
You could have saved us in a second<br />Instead You sent a child<br /><br />And when I finally see my tree<br />Still I believe there’s a season to come<br />
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- Seasons, Hillsong WorshipValencia Nghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16641892031577954809noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6124767656392059224.post-1086397075025770232017-11-01T18:15:00.001+07:002017-11-01T18:23:18.677+07:0013 Reasons Why Not<br />
1. God has purpose for you that you haven't discovered yet. As you were born not as an <i>accident</i>, but according to His purpose. Going against His purpose is never a good idea.<br />
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2. It will make your parents really sad, and it won't make them proud either. </div>
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3. This is just a phase that you have to pass. If after this you don't want to live this kind of life, the good news is, it will only last for 47 days. After that, you can move on to something new. </div>
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4. If not, at least this can be a learning experience for you. Or putting a big mirror so you can see the worst of you, putting you to the rock bottom which can be your start to the next chapter of life.</div>
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5. There are still places that you haven't discovered yet, people you have not met, experiences that you haven't tasted. And it might get better, you know. </div>
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6. Most of the most inspirational people in life have tasted failures at some point in their lives, and that's totally okay. In fact, those things are the reasons why they became who they are right now. </div>
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7. Your rate of surviving so far is 100%, even though some days are better than the others. You overcame such conditions and somehow, you're still here. </div>
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8. Even when you don't feel like it, you are blessed enough to have the life that you have right now.</div>
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9. There are still so many people that underestimated you, misjudged you, and for once, you can prove them wrong</div>
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10. Finishing well gives more satisfactory result than starting well<br />
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11. There are more problems in this world than this, something that you can face one by one, after this. There's more in life than just this.<br />
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12. You wanted this for such a long time. Remember even when you don't like it, you won't like the other majors too<br />
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13. Because life is a gift, after all.<br />
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Valencia Nghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16641892031577954809noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6124767656392059224.post-5287247198082649562017-10-29T02:34:00.002+07:002017-10-29T03:15:43.083+07:00A Cup of Ginger<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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This October has been a hard month for me. I have been a train-wreck of emotions. I keep saying things I don't mean. Binge-eating. Crying when I'm alone. Yelling at anyone who disturbs me. Knowing that I shouldn't stress out make me more stressed out. And realizing that what I do is 'Christian' thing frustrates me even more. I avoid almost everyone, staying hermit for weeks. And I can say, sleep-deprived does not help this situation at all.<br />
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This week I feel unappreciated for every single effort I made and it made the list longer. I realize I'm being ungrateful but I really feel like I'm walking alone. Especially with my family. I have no energy to explain to them what I am doing. They don't understand. What they understand is ... what I do is costly. And it does. It really does. </div>
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Every Thursday when I have to go to Jakarta - Tangerang by bus, usually I don't sleep so that I don't arrive late to meet my lecturer. That was one of those days. I haven't slept and by a simple rebuke, I cried in front of my dad. I cried out loud. With voices. While pasting double tape on my artwork. While rushing to go to campus and I was already late. If you know the relationship between us you'd be surprised. I rarely show my emotions in front of him. <i>So maybe I was that tired...... </i>And maybe it was not because of things he did but what I thought he didn't do. </div>
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Yesterday as I took honey, I asked him, "<i>jahenya gaada</i>?". Because I usually sleep by 4-5 am everyday, I always drink or eat any kind of thing that will help me to stay fit and stay awake. It could be honey, ginger, warm milk, tea, coffee, Pocari, Tolak Angin, vitamin, any kind of thing. Sometimes I mix ginger powder with coffee or honey in replacement of Tolak Angin. He didn't reply any word. </div>
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This midnight, as I took any more honey, I realized there were two jars of ginger powder. I know it's the simplest thing, but I realize how ungrateful I've been. I know we have different love language, and he shows his support not by putting it into words or spending more time with me, but through his act of service. I know he tries to work hard to pay for me to print any more artwork to show to my lecturer. I know he stops using printer when I took the printer upstairs to print my papers. I know that when there was a fire in the neighborhood the first thing he did was to make sure the kids were safe and well-eaten. I know that even when he disconnected the phone because he was too pissed off when I called him to say my laptop is broken, he texted me again few minutes later to ask what he could do. He knows because even though it's not grand act of love, it is visible in the tiniest detail of my being. </div>
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This time, it took me two jars of ginger powder at two am to realize that. </div>
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Valencia Nghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16641892031577954809noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6124767656392059224.post-38233039725747971692017-10-28T22:54:00.000+07:002018-07-17T02:16:11.781+07:00Imago<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjJBud62rkLT8ZrxLip8f3rj6RveXLP3KRHYhtTPexhQeTuQveqIMLjIT9vbNdER8rBZop_x0Hgg3jeYV-msQFkKl0wvGuhLyvvFs2G3FAHykL-HLFeNDaCN5Bh62m7hrfeF5h3fH8qyxd/s1600/aaron-burden-212158.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjJBud62rkLT8ZrxLip8f3rj6RveXLP3KRHYhtTPexhQeTuQveqIMLjIT9vbNdER8rBZop_x0Hgg3jeYV-msQFkKl0wvGuhLyvvFs2G3FAHykL-HLFeNDaCN5Bh62m7hrfeF5h3fH8qyxd/s1600/aaron-burden-212158.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
I came back home at 5 am. After spending all night long at a junk food restaurant near the gas station. I put the wrong pickup address so I had to walk under the street light. It was dark and cold and I was tired. After one hour of blank paper, my mind couldn't work properly (maybe because of sugar rush, but it could be because of lack of sleep. I am sleep deprived for the past month). I decided to go home. Even though that day was the deadline.<br />
<br />
As the <i>ojek</i> driver took me home, I started to see the dawn. How the color shifting from black to blue to the combination of blue and yellow. It was breathtakingly beautiful. Something that so serene and peaceful. But in my limitations as human, I was frustrated. I couldn't stop thinking these thoughts.<br />
<br />
You, the Great Designer<br />
The maker of Heaven and earth<br />
The designer of its system<br />
The writer of this grand story<br />
From the tiniest detail of a microba<br />
and chemical compounds<br />
To the highest mountains<br />
The painter of every single sunrise<br />
The One who knows how deep the ocean is<br />
The One who created the cycle of life<br />
The designer of it all<br />
Is it true that I was created in Your being?<br />
I looked at my empty hands<br />
<i>Then why I couldn't create? </i><br />
<br />
As I scrolled to another artist's feed<br />
<i>Why I couldn't create? </i><br />
As I stared on my blank paper<br />
<i>Why I couldn't create? </i><br />
As I saw my crooked lines of drawing<br />
<i>Why I couldn't create?</i><br />
As I spend any other night of not sleeping<br />
<i>Why I couldn't create?</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
I know it seems ungrateful<br />
But that was my 5am of desperate thought.<br />
I went home and I decided to sleep<br />
<br />
But humans,<br />
The way humans perceive things<br />
The way we work, the way we sleep<br />
The way we see beauty<br />
It is already a proof of how we are created in His likeness<br />
Even the ability to think to create is actually a grace<br />
And I only need to walk forward from this grace upon grace<br />
Not desperately trying to look at my empty hands but His<br />
Not desperately trying to achieve the perfection<br />
That only can be found in Him<br />
I only need to refer to Him<br />
as designer seeks reference to the greater designer<br />
I only need to look to the Greatest designer of it all<br />
<br />
This time,<br />
I will try to create again<br />
I kinda have to...<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Valencia Nghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16641892031577954809noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6124767656392059224.post-71923037487421275102017-10-14T22:02:00.001+07:002017-10-14T22:03:21.676+07:00A Pilgrim's Progress<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiov5sNzK413Qch7L6SQafoNAAb4szS1y5v0jWegzprUbNHMtM7On8PeaWLZr78kV5hIrlxYpBzkZNmrTp3nK5oc1EPLiMyzjkgyMUJz3tiAxcARf-ckaKxurJQLoQ36hdeu2YbK5D0kie/s1600/9862a5658985440704ebbc32adcf72cf--william-blake-pilgrim.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="974" data-original-width="736" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiov5sNzK413Qch7L6SQafoNAAb4szS1y5v0jWegzprUbNHMtM7On8PeaWLZr78kV5hIrlxYpBzkZNmrTp3nK5oc1EPLiMyzjkgyMUJz3tiAxcARf-ckaKxurJQLoQ36hdeu2YbK5D0kie/s1600/9862a5658985440704ebbc32adcf72cf--william-blake-pilgrim.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
Lord I'm tired, so tired of traveling<br />
This straight and narrow<br />
is so much harder than I thought<br />
On this road, I've met both doubt and pain<br />
I've heard their voices say<br />
“Boy, you've given all you've got"<br />
<br />
BUT there is a crowd of witnesses,<br />
The ones who've run this race<br />
Even louder than my fears they're crying<br />
“Boy, oh lift your face. . .!"<br />
<br />
“… Keep running, keep running<br />
Don't look back, dont you give up now<br />
Dont turn around<br />
You've got to find a way somehow<br />
Keep reaching, keep fightin<br />
The pain cannot compare to the reward<br />
That will be yours<br />
That waits in store<br />
for those who just keep running”<br />
<br />
On this path, this fight for holiness<br />
I’ve struggled and i've bled<br />
Through these dangers toils and snares.<br />
And i've got foes,<br />
their sorry voices call<br />
saying “Boy you're bound to fall,<br />
with that heavy cross you bear"<br />
<br />
I remember One who died to win this race<br />
He took the cross, he crushed the grave<br />
Oh I can hear my Saviour say…<br />
“… Keep running …”<br />
<br />
Don’t turn aside<br />
No compromise<br />
Just lift your eyes<br />
To the glory that’s coming<br />
<br />
If you’re like me<br />
And you feel you can’t go on<br />
Think you’ll never see the dawn<br />
And you’re just about to break<br />
Well don’t stop now<br />
Know that every sacrifice<br />
It’ll all be worth the price<br />
When you finally see His face<br />
<br />
Just keep running<br />
Don’t look back, don’t you give up now<br />
Don’t turn aside, got to find a way<br />
Dig deeper, run harder<br />
The pain cannot compare to the reward that will be yours<br />
Waits in store, so take My hand<br />
Because you can’t do this alone<br />
Until you hear that sound<br />
Until your race is complete<br />
Find a way to just<br />
Go running<br />
Keep going<br />
Keep praying<br />
Believing<br />
Keep fasting<br />
Keep singing<br />
Keep dreaming<br />
Keep praying<br />
He’s coming<br />
He’s waiting<br />
Arms open<br />
So keep running.<br />
<br />
- A Pilgrim's Progress (Keep Running), Matt PapaValencia Nghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16641892031577954809noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6124767656392059224.post-81490189926983856762017-09-30T23:59:00.000+07:002017-09-30T23:59:07.058+07:00I had a dream<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOlovz68V_UvoRrqQq_UKM0hJ9kqkGxEdG8ZJ1r0FA2EngAsQC8YxzLoUY8fhbnd86hElp-L6wpJ-kseATIFb_N6cuJFWIr8b2Vb5VecOCno2h7ktVmj6o4u1j6LvSdY25oxM7w5IIQbSR/s1600/jeremy-bishop-225533.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOlovz68V_UvoRrqQq_UKM0hJ9kqkGxEdG8ZJ1r0FA2EngAsQC8YxzLoUY8fhbnd86hElp-L6wpJ-kseATIFb_N6cuJFWIr8b2Vb5VecOCno2h7ktVmj6o4u1j6LvSdY25oxM7w5IIQbSR/s1600/jeremy-bishop-225533.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/photos/iyrJnPlkP68?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText" style="background-color: #f2f2f2; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "San Francisco", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Ubuntu, Roboto, Noto, "Segoe UI", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; text-align: start; text-decoration-skip: ink; transition: color 0.2s ease-in-out, opacity 0.2s ease-in-out; white-space: nowrap;">Jeremy Bishop</a><span style="background-color: #f2f2f2; color: #111111; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "San Francisco", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Ubuntu, Roboto, Noto, "Segoe UI", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; text-align: start; white-space: nowrap;"> on </span><a href="https://unsplash.com/?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText" style="background-color: #f2f2f2; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "San Francisco", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Ubuntu, Roboto, Noto, "Segoe UI", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; text-align: start; text-decoration-skip: ink; transition: color 0.2s ease-in-out, opacity 0.2s ease-in-out; white-space: nowrap;">Unsplash</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
I was a little girl alone in my little world<br />
Who dreamed of a little home for me<br />
I played pretend between the trees<br />
And fed my house guests bark and leaves<br />
And laughed in my pretty bed of green<br />
<br />
I had a dream<br />
That I could fly from the highest swing<br />
I had a dream<br />
<br />
Long walks in the dark through woods grown behind the park<br />
I asked God who I'm supposed to be<br />
The stars smiled down on me<br />
God answered in silent reverie<br />
I said a prayer and fell asleep<br />
I had a dream<br />
<br />
That I could fly from the highest tree<br />
I had a dream<br />
Now I'm old and feeling gray<br />
I don't know what's left to say about this life I'm willing to leave<br />
I lived it full and I lived it well<br />
There's many tales I've lived to tell<br />
I'm ready now, I'm ready now<br />
I'm ready now to fly from the highest wing<br />
- Priscilla Ahn, Dream<br />
<br />
Used to share the same dream. Look at us now.Valencia Nghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16641892031577954809noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6124767656392059224.post-57502472114083090252017-09-22T00:35:00.000+07:002017-09-22T00:35:53.949+07:00Let me see Your face<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmJU-40xjfCM_Y1JJYLKGE4GqzeCWLWefSl-Tij4CxNx0_1unm4WHSPzg7tRVc_OM6_RQRi-BC5VfeNuB3zFv9Dn3v-7afODxDRfq7UbUdn1vi9s-uI2chkLDugO0qc2ROtAYAwtlQao1k/s1600/tumblrl642qttzol1qc8ysp.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1115" data-original-width="1211" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmJU-40xjfCM_Y1JJYLKGE4GqzeCWLWefSl-Tij4CxNx0_1unm4WHSPzg7tRVc_OM6_RQRi-BC5VfeNuB3zFv9Dn3v-7afODxDRfq7UbUdn1vi9s-uI2chkLDugO0qc2ROtAYAwtlQao1k/s1600/tumblrl642qttzol1qc8ysp.png" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
Your weakness has you hiding in shame<br />
The knowledge that you're not as strong as you thought you were<br />
You're so afraid of what lies ahead<br />
You're thinking how will you run over the hills with me<br />
<br />
Well I'm not leaving you now<br />
I'm still here<br />
<br />
So let me see your face<br />
Let me just hear your voice<br />
Let me see the one I want so near<br />
<br />
I see the longing under the fear<br />
I see it in your heart to finish the race with Me<br />
I know if you just say yes again<br />
Together we can make the longing reality<br />
<br />
Cause I'm looking ahead, I can already see you leaning<br />
I'm looking ahead down the road, I can already see you trusting<br />
I'm looking ahead, I can already see you running with me<br />
I'm looking ahead, I can already see you leaning<br />
<br />
- Let see your face, Jon ThurlowValencia Nghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16641892031577954809noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6124767656392059224.post-46639792591178373622017-09-14T13:50:00.001+07:002017-09-14T13:50:14.573+07:00In this darkness<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUscYBH2Lsx5EtreTqfa5_-Tae9X1kFIyDiu4zGSy3tm0jl34hl5AO7tTuchYuyAU8VgPuhec2zTKttpSaiH_FeorYsKttlmcRsip9l9nbC1YCCY2eWhIaXzR4kxoNa50VXouNW31ekNTb/s1600/josh-nuttall-368422.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1600" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUscYBH2Lsx5EtreTqfa5_-Tae9X1kFIyDiu4zGSy3tm0jl34hl5AO7tTuchYuyAU8VgPuhec2zTKttpSaiH_FeorYsKttlmcRsip9l9nbC1YCCY2eWhIaXzR4kxoNa50VXouNW31ekNTb/s1600/josh-nuttall-368422.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/photos/xl2piFfdzyA?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText" style="background-color: #f2f2f2; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "San Francisco", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Ubuntu, Roboto, Noto, "Segoe UI", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; text-align: start; text-decoration-skip: ink; transition: color 0.2s ease-in-out, opacity 0.2s ease-in-out; white-space: nowrap;">Josh Nuttall</a><span style="background-color: #f2f2f2; color: #111111; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "San Francisco", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Ubuntu, Roboto, Noto, "Segoe UI", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; text-align: start; white-space: nowrap;"> on </span><a href="https://unsplash.com/?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText" style="background-color: #f2f2f2; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "San Francisco", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Ubuntu, Roboto, Noto, "Segoe UI", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; text-align: start; text-decoration-skip: ink; transition: color 0.2s ease-in-out, opacity 0.2s ease-in-out; white-space: nowrap;">Unsplash</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
The sun rises each morning to uncover<br />
One day is now another, where dark clouds hover still<br />
Keep praying for a miracle to happen<br />
<br />
To rise up from these ashes,<br />
or at least that's how it feels<br />
And time seems like the enemy<br />
And hope so far away<br />
And once again I'm on my knees<br />
With no words left to pray<br />
<br />
But in this darkness still You find me<br />
And You draw me to Your light<br />
Though the shadows deepen, I can see<br />
In this darkness, still You shine<br />
<br />
Was it like this in Your desperate hour<br />
Did it take all Your power to endure all the pain<br />
Was it why You chose to be an offering<br />
To join me in my suffering<br />
To meet me in this place<br />
This night is not my enemy<br />
There'll be a sunrise soon<br />
I'm holding on to all I have<br />
Lord, all I have is You<br />
<br />
But in this darkness still You find me<br />
And You draw me to Your light<br />
Though the shadows deepen, I can see<br />
In this darkness, still You shine<br />
<br />
Still You shine through the rain and the rolling thunder<br />
Shine in the eyes of a loving friend<br />
Shine in my night, turning doubt to wonder<br />
Shine as the light that has no end<br />
<br />
- In this darkness, Ginny OwensValencia Nghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16641892031577954809noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6124767656392059224.post-17414245164604332312017-09-12T22:51:00.000+07:002018-07-17T02:17:44.357+07:00A Night Walk<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhS31-DF3ONpJFmmD3g7bh3aGKni6FzNY4COcvacgXvZbGNnOI4jxuN3NkKIIUl8SyT4IBwlsmSTmvCkJBP-x_QaFiwNEU85bF5826rpp30Cs-1rT0f5S0-9ut9DD31MPkKS0xkZ-ujZePc/s1600/mark-jefferson-paraan-318087.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1068" data-original-width="1600" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhS31-DF3ONpJFmmD3g7bh3aGKni6FzNY4COcvacgXvZbGNnOI4jxuN3NkKIIUl8SyT4IBwlsmSTmvCkJBP-x_QaFiwNEU85bF5826rpp30Cs-1rT0f5S0-9ut9DD31MPkKS0xkZ-ujZePc/s1600/mark-jefferson-paraan-318087.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/photos/R-aOP0IiGQo?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText" style="background-color: #f2f2f2; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "San Francisco", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Ubuntu, Roboto, Noto, "Segoe UI", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; text-align: start; text-decoration-skip: ink; transition: color 0.2s ease-in-out, opacity 0.2s ease-in-out; white-space: nowrap;">Mark Jefferson Paraan</a><span style="background-color: #f2f2f2; color: #111111; font-family: , , "san francisco" , "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "ubuntu" , "roboto" , "noto" , "segoe ui" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; white-space: nowrap;"> on </span><a href="https://unsplash.com/?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText" style="background-color: #f2f2f2; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "San Francisco", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Ubuntu, Roboto, Noto, "Segoe UI", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; text-align: start; text-decoration-skip: ink; transition: color 0.2s ease-in-out, opacity 0.2s ease-in-out; white-space: nowrap;">Unsplash</a></td></tr>
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<br />
<br />
I remember how big the moon was<br />
As we walked through the night breeze<br />
Seeing your face ignited by the street lights<br />
Promised ourselves we would go to this place again<br />
I stopped for a while, feeling overwhelmed<br />
Maybe this is what people are talking about<br />
You stopped, looked back, stood, and waited<br />
You. With your eyes. And your smile<br />
It snapped me back from my daydream<br />
As I believed I was living in one<br />
As I thanked God and thought to myself<br />
"Has it always been this easy? "<br />
<br />
------------------------------------------------<br />
<br />
I remember how big the moon was<br />
As I walked through the cold, unforgiving wind<br />
Seeing my shadows projected by the street lights<br />
Promised myself I won't let myself be fooled again<br />
I stopped for a while, feeling overwhelmed<br />
Maybe this what poets try to warned us about<br />
You stopped a long time ago, and never looked back<br />
This time is just another goodbye, I'm getting used to it<br />
You. With your eyes. But no longer your smile<br />
As you said to me that we wouldn't make it<br />
I still thanked God for your presence<br />
For your temporary trace in my journey of life<br />
As I walked I began to think to myself,<br />
"Has it always been this hard?"<br />
<br />
12.09.Valencia Nghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16641892031577954809noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6124767656392059224.post-83527056817016592952017-09-04T01:32:00.000+07:002017-09-09T13:14:56.876+07:00For the ships that never sailed<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxJnJBXvjQKgO9fTGve8n1OVo9a7olgWWJcgfM0UnpGKYOwjqTMRwG_B5upes3MA0FXiG07ZTe4NRw1x6kEyrnIkjuRz-ebzMGkbx6AngTGUWxCp3qpQbvtdBQPmdmSPCMh6BQzqOPr_b9/s1600/joel-assuied-179972.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxJnJBXvjQKgO9fTGve8n1OVo9a7olgWWJcgfM0UnpGKYOwjqTMRwG_B5upes3MA0FXiG07ZTe4NRw1x6kEyrnIkjuRz-ebzMGkbx6AngTGUWxCp3qpQbvtdBQPmdmSPCMh6BQzqOPr_b9/s1600/joel-assuied-179972.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/photos/55euGA-1-LE?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText" style="background-color: #f2f2f2; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "San Francisco", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Ubuntu, Roboto, Noto, "Segoe UI", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; text-align: start; text-decoration-skip: ink; transition: color 0.2s ease-in-out, opacity 0.2s ease-in-out; white-space: nowrap;">Joël Assuied</a><span style="background-color: #f2f2f2; color: #111111; font-family: , , "san francisco" , "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "ubuntu" , "roboto" , "noto" , "segoe ui" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; white-space: nowrap;"> on </span><a href="https://unsplash.com/?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText" style="background-color: #f2f2f2; box-sizing: border-box; color: #999999; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "San Francisco", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Ubuntu, Roboto, Noto, "Segoe UI", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; text-align: start; text-decoration-skip: ink; transition: color 0.2s ease-in-out, opacity 0.2s ease-in-out; white-space: nowrap;">Unsplash</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
For the ships that never sailed,<br />
For the "almost"s, the "maybe"s, the "what if"s<br />
The kind of thoughts that won't let you sleep<br />
The kind of feelings that you try to bury deep<br />
<br />
For the ships that never sailed,<br />
For the different paths, different dreams<br />
For all the children whose family intervened<br />
For all the rocks that were thrown into the relationship<br />
<br />
For the ships that never sailed,<br />
For all the red signs that you missed<br />
For all the hearts that were too broken to trust again<br />
For convincing yourself, this time, it's truly "lessons learned"<br />
<br />
For the ships that never sailed,<br />
For leaving things unsaid between the lines<br />
The "better timing next time"<br />
The forced "see you" to soften the "goodbye"<br />
The awkward hello if you ever pass them by<br />
<br />
For all the premature beginnings<br />
The unfinished endings<br />
The unspoken feelings<br />
The somehow-silver linings<br />
<br />
For all the ships that never sailed,<br />
All the comfort and the safe of the harbor<br />
All flowers that died before blooming beautifully<br />
All snowflakes that melt before reaching the ground<br />
All the stories that never reached the back cover<br />
This poem is made for you<br />
<br />
Just because it did not go as it was expected<br />
Does not make it any less true<br />
They were meant to be the-in-betweens<br />
To teach us to become better partner<br />
Be grateful that it was over before it truly begins<br />
Be grateful it did not waste more of your time<br />
Or else you'd go and risk your heart<br />
On a voyage with a person you did not belong<br />
<br />
We'll be more than be the ones who got away<br />
We'll be remembered more than midnight regrets<br />
We'll be patient and learn not to rush things<br />
We'll open new chapter dear, buy a new book<br />
We'll find new places, we'll find new homes<br />
We'll find the person to venture the sea with<br />
And even if one day we still don't,<br />
We'll always be completely fine to sail on our ownValencia Nghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16641892031577954809noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6124767656392059224.post-17166543391764084392017-09-01T02:06:00.001+07:002017-09-01T17:04:15.423+07:00Breakin' Free<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjN_JjhMGIKTuo8ZibN6dcQsX4qO__FCjQTpqyyxdLHEbwDEjRC6WD-Wtz5JCdcXOhtAInQRgqUiErkk7IN4Zmo1jU2fFoqJpOXKTsDB00F859-Ft0oLvbQ-LvaPQ_KPt48f8c8W8PAIjdn/s1600/annie-spratt-282809.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1065" data-original-width="1600" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjN_JjhMGIKTuo8ZibN6dcQsX4qO__FCjQTpqyyxdLHEbwDEjRC6WD-Wtz5JCdcXOhtAInQRgqUiErkk7IN4Zmo1jU2fFoqJpOXKTsDB00F859-Ft0oLvbQ-LvaPQ_KPt48f8c8W8PAIjdn/s1600/annie-spratt-282809.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>"No one was foolish enough to follow someone else's dream.</i><br />
<i>No one was selfish enough to cut someone else's wings"</i></blockquote>
</blockquote>
We started off as two silly dreamers<br />
With head above the clouds, feet above the ground<br />
But eyes locked within each other's<br />
For you, life was great tons of possibilities<br />
For me, life was a possibility with you<br />
<br />
We ended up, still as two dreamers<br />
Drifting away to two different roads<br />
You will be forever chasing hills<br />
And I am too content with my valleys<br />
<br />
So, go, go and change the world<br />
Cure cancer, be a millionaire, study abroad<br />
Meet new people, travel the world, help others<br />
Do what you've gotta do<br />
I promise I won't be still<br />
I'm gonna catch my own<br />
<br />
It's the price we have to pay to make history<br />
It's the sacrifice and the choice that we must choose<br />
To change things beyond our relationship.<br />
And if it really does work out in the end,<br />
At least we'll never regret it<br />
Nothing is ever in vain, my dear<br />
<br />
We'll find new people to share our dream with.<br />
We'll find new places we can call home.<br />
We'll find each other again if we're meant to be.<br />
But for now, you've gotta be you and I've gotta be me.<br />
<br />
So, as long as being separated means you can follow your dream,<br />
I'll be more than happy to make it come true by letting you go.<br />
The day I'm setting you free, I'm setting myself free, too. <br />
<br />
<i>- LaLaLand kind of feel</i><br />
<i>random writing inspired by the past,</i><br />
<i>but with the hopeful outlook to the future. </i><br />
<div>
<i><br /></i></div>
Valencia Nghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16641892031577954809noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6124767656392059224.post-70196975028229094192017-08-28T12:30:00.000+07:002017-08-28T12:30:37.530+07:00And if you're still breathing, you're the lucky ones<br />
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<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<b>"Breathe.<br />You’re going to be okay.<br />Breathe and remember that you’ve been in this place before.<br />You’ve been this uncomfortable and anxious and scared, and you’ve survived.<br /> Breathe and know that you can survive this too.<br />These feelings can’t break you.<br />They’re painful and debilitating, but you can sit with them and eventually, they will pass.<br />Maybe not immediately, but sometime soon, they are going to fade and when they do, you’ll look back at this moment and laugh for having doubted your resilience.<br />I know it feels unbearable right now, but keep breathing, again and again. This will pass. I promise it will pass."<br />— Daniell Koepke</b></blockquote>
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Valencia Nghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16641892031577954809noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6124767656392059224.post-18871893790419108422017-08-28T09:57:00.002+07:002017-08-28T09:57:54.840+07:00Never Ending Stories<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<h3>
<br /></h3>
<h3>
Dear you, whoever read this,</h3>
Today is the second day of UPH Fest Day. I can surely say it feels like it is something that is really left behind. We are no longer freshman. We don’t really feel the vibe or the excitement far away from them. This year we are not a committee of anything, we are not a mentor, or anything that would make us busy today. <b>But today, we are here, together.</b><br />
<br />
Can you believe it’s been four years since our freshman days? How you wore white polo shirt with the scarf of your faculty. Like how nervous we were. “Will I ever have friends?”, “Will I get accepted?”, “What will I do in the next four years of my life?”. You know, such thoughts..<br />
<br />
The first few months are the ones that we try to adapt from the old life (high school, old friends, etc) to the new life. Big bold change, brand new friends, all those activities that we can’t find in our high school. The first year we somehow ended up, either in the committees or communities that we participated in. But those questions somehow still ring even in the darkest corner of our mind.<br />
But for some of bit something that I’d call as God’s plan, in the early months of 2015....... You chose to join SFS. And that’s how I get to know you. Like really know you..... We became family. We cried together. We fought together (and sometimes with each other). We held hands as we prayed, and worshipped God together. We were once strangers and somehow in one short year, God has put us as a family. God has put us to grow together.<br />
<br />
Those are good days, you know. If I ever look back I can say that one year in SFS was the greatest year in my university days. Because I get to know you, all those 32 of you. And I know that as the batch of 2013, we became the big brother and big sister for our juniors in SFS. Because I see how God has been faithful to us. <i>Because we get the chance to serve Him.</i><br />
<br />
For now, maybe it feels like SFS is also something that is left behind (just like UPH Fest). I mean, of course, it has been two years. A lot of things have changed since then. SFS has changed to be SG, the rules and regulations have changed. The leaders of our ministry have changed. We no longer know the new students or servants in SFS.<br />
<br />
We may not even see each other as often as we used to. We may not even talk to each other as much as we want it to. Some of us may still continue to have communities, to serve in SFS, but I guess most of us continue to walk our path alone...<br />
<br />
But I do hope it really that this journey that you have to take is not entirely alone. You have to know that your sister and brother is here. You have to know that you still can share to us what your struggle is. You have to know that we can always pray for you. We can still walk together and not became strangers once more but walk as a family. I love this quote.<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<b>Family is like a tree. It can grow to many directions but the roots remain as one.</b></blockquote>
<br />
So just go on. Embrace this new life. Find the job that you love. Discover your calling. Study again if you want to. Be rooted in whatever you are planted. Go. Make disciples. We are still here. We will always be here. I, will always be here. I can’t wait to be there on your wedding days, and all those meaningful days. I know you’re gonna do great, meet newpeople, and I believe that God will always remain faithful in your life.<br />
<br />
<b>Balen </b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<br />
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Valencia Nghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16641892031577954809noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6124767656392059224.post-1231678367406707742017-08-18T22:02:00.003+07:002017-08-19T04:46:36.380+07:00Hiraeth<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
<br />
<br />
When I was a kid,<br />
Home for me was a place<br />
Where I slept next to Mom and Dad<br />
Where I could feel safe<br />
Where I was never alone<br />
I always had cousins to play with<br />
And free ice cream whenever I want<br />
<br />
Then the home I knew got burnt<br />
And it became yellow<br />
As bright as the sun!<br />
Replacing all the dull colors I knew<br />
<br />
Home was always filled with noises<br />
Of laughter, of screaming,<br />
Or the honks of the car<br />
It was never silent<br />
<br />
Home got multiplied for the first time<br />
When I was eighteen and moved out of town<br />
Home became a blank white wall<br />
And my sweet, sweet corner<br />
A place where I could lay my head after a long day<br />
I could be on my own now<br />
The silence kept me asleep at night<br />
The sunlight kept me awake in the morning<br />
<br />
As I grew up I started to learn the important lesson about home<br />
Home didn't stay in one place<br />
Home can be felt wherever you are with your loved ones<br />
Home can be felt wherever you are accepted<br />
<br />
Not only by blood, not by biological means<br />
Not by the relatives who were happy to see me gone<br />
Not by the ones who asked me to leave whenever I can<br />
Ironic how you began to redefine what family means<br />
How you began to differentiate house from home<br />
<br />
For months I have been homesick more than ever<br />
Though I always stay at my own home<br />
The same, old, familiar home I know<br />
The noises remains the same,<br />
But the noises inside my head are louder<br />
And the heart remains empty as far as I concern<br />
<br />
I have a hard time sleeping each night<br />
So I stay awake til I can't stay awake anymore<br />
Until the sun begins to rise each morning<br />
No matter how many sleeps I take doesn't help at all<br />
I still long for the unknown, for the uncertain<br />
I still feel homesick for the places I've never been<br />
<br />
Our home is in the next life, they say<br />
Our home is wherever your heart is, they tell me<br />
But maybe home is neither here nor there<br />
<br />
Maybe it's true that home is in far away countries<br />
A flat in the middle of the city, perhaps<br />
Or a small house of the countryside<br />
Maybe it's the place where I can reach my dreams<br />
The place I can leave my past behind<br />
<br />
Maybe home is inside your heart<br />
Where you are most content with yourself<br />
Maybe my heart isn't that pretty<br />
Maybe my soul is too broken to begin with<br />
<br />
But maybe, maybe,<br />
Home is wherever you are loved<br />
When you are not so lovable<br />
<br />
If that so,<br />
Why am I still feel homesick?<br />
<br />
(#nowplaying Homesick- Kings of Convenience)<br />
<br />
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<br />Valencia Nghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16641892031577954809noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6124767656392059224.post-60782252962733765312017-06-10T20:22:00.001+07:002017-06-11T04:29:05.509+07:00The 21st Century Pilgrim<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<b>pil·grim/ ˈpilɡrəm/ noun</b></div>
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a person who journeys to a sacred place for religious reasons.</div>
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synonyms:<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>worshiper, devotee, believer</div>
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Pilgrim. Ah that word. I know it's not the usual word that you can find in 21st century. The first time I stumbled over that word was when I accidentally found a writing from Susannah Spurgeon when she wrote about her journey and relationship with her husband, Charles Spurgeon - the famous preacher from the 19th century. Me, being curious as always, ended up googling and I found out that The Spurgeons read "The Pilgrim's Progress" and it was assumed that the word 'pilgrim' in Susannah's writing came from their love of the book. Not so long after that, I downloaded the e-book version from Desiring God. </div>
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I was quite surprised to find that I love this kind of book. I smiled when I read the protagonist named "Christian". I smiled even wider to read the catchy names of the characters in that book. "Hypocrisy", "Talkative", "Atheist", "Help", that blatantly describe their characters; or how Bunyan wrote the names of the places like "Valley of the Shadow of the Death" or "The Wicket Gate" that sound so familiar especially if you grow up being Christian. Though the book was written almost 350 years ago.</div>
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Though I love the idea of it, and though the Desiring God's version is the revised and abridged version of the original text, I still find myself struggle to read it to finish. Even when I highlighted all the names, places, and quotes with different colors! I don't know if it was because I read the e-book version instead of the printed one. Or if it actually could use some improvisations</div>
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Then I thought to myself.... maybe few illustrations here and there will be interesting. Maybe the color coding for every place or character will suffice. Maybe emphasis on important quotes or songs will help me not to be too distracted. </div>
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<i>And that's how it started. </i></div>
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The next thing I remember I started finding more about it. Then proposing it to one of my lecturers through random conversation just a few months before my pre-final project class. Then actually doing a presentation in front of the class. </div>
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<i>And then how it went. </i></div>
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I was quite overwhelmed by the resources I have. This is quite a legendary book indeed, concluding by all the commentaries and versions that I found. And I ended up failing to write it systematically. To be honest the journey hasn't been all sunshine but a rocky road indeed. Though I passed my first thesis defense I wasn't satisfied with the whole result. </div>
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<i>And now how it's going....</i></div>
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Currently I have one thing that I didn't really have in the trimester of design student life: TIME. Now I have plenty. (well not that plenty if you consider the amount of works needed to bring this to realisation but quite enough than most of my friends); The ideas spread quickly. </div>
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But in the end, </div>
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I guess what I want is the pilgrimage itself. Not only the best final project I could ever achieve but also a pilgrimage to get closer to my Creator. I thought of this from the beginning, <i>will it make me understand more of God? will it make others understand more of God? Will it glorify Him? </i> </div>
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So I don't know why it feels like a burden. It feels like the burden to bring faith-related topic as final project. It feels like a burden whenever I do something wrong to those around me while carrying this message. It feels like the burden to represent this to others. Maybe because I relied too much on myself. I know this book is not the bible though it is frequently said "second next to the bible". I know that I don't romanticize this book as the best book I have ever read. But the whole process also made me question and re-question everything I know. </div>
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I find myself in <b><i>Doubting Castle</i></b>, the part of the book that felt relatable to me. I find myself got lost because of the advices of <b style="font-style: italic;">Mr.Worldly Wiseman. </b>I had a fear that I might be the <b><i>Talkative</i>, </b>one of the fake pilgrims in this story. </div>
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<b>But I ended up understanding that the pilgrimage is not meant to be perfect, it just simply meant to be walked on. </b></div>
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As I have to walk through the next few months to the finish line. As I have to walk through unknown path that He has made after my university life. As I have to walk through this life with some of the companions I've made along the way, even with the ones who left the way <b><i>Faithful</i></b> did. As I have to walk the way that is set before me. </div>
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Christian himself was an unconventional hero for he was not perfect. He was laughed by his family. He stayed off the narrow path. He once wanted to commit suicide. He was distracted by a lot of things. But he endured until the very end.</div>
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<b>And that's how I want it to be. </b></div>
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<b>Endure. Persevere. Until the very end. </b></div>
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<b>Fighting the good fight.</b></div>
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<b>Finishing the race. </b></div>
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<b>Keeping the faith. </b></div>
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Valencia Nghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16641892031577954809noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6124767656392059224.post-90415125895008421072017-05-06T18:51:00.001+07:002017-05-06T18:53:14.569+07:00The Reason<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I just took my very first pregnancy test yesterday.<br />
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I looked at the doctor with disbelief.<br />
"Do I really have to do this? Because I can assur..".<br />
"Yes. We have to be sure on the paper that you're not pregnant".<br />
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I see his scribbling on the paper that I had to take to the lab. "Amenorrhea". Great. Another disease which I can't pronounce easily..... It's only a month since I found a thick blood on my hand after a cough....... what I found out few days later as a bronchitis. I spent weeks wearing masks wherever I go. Now I have another disease? <br />
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As I took the urine sample I thought to myself .......<br />
"Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse than this."<br />
But to be honest,<i> things actually could get worse.......</i><br />
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As the doctor didn't give me clear answer, it means I have to make another appointments with another doctor in bigger hospital .... <i>all by myself.</i> Since I can be sure for 100% I am not pregnant there must be something wrong in my body that causes it stopping its natural cycle. Maybe a cyst. Maybe something wrong in my hypothalamus. Maybe because of my obesity. Maybe an infertility. Maybe because I'm too stressed out and depressed. There will be another tests. There will be a lot of "I told you so"s and there will be a lot of time and energy wasted for this thing. Not only the causes are terrifying but the results too.....<br />
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<b>And for once, I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. </b><br />
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I don't know since when I made eating as my escape. Has it always been this way? I don't remember since when I am angry whenever mom brings up the topic, which usually makes me want to eat more. I don't remember since when ...... but it's getting worse and worse. My cousin shook her head and asked me, "If you know it's bad for you, why are you still doing it?"<br />
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<i>I know right...... </i><br />
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From every failed attempt and every yoyo result I ended up giving up a long time ago. From every night when I couldn't sleep I have to eat a comfort food to temporarily cure it. From every abusive words, I ate even more. From a stare that I can't forget when saying "Of course I don't like you". <i>You</i>. For years I craved for someone to "I like you just as you are". But I do not love me just as I am. Why do I keep expecting other people to do it?<br />
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I know things could actually get worse but ...... <i>things could get better also.</i><br />
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As I tie my running shoes I keep convincing myself, "I don't have to like this. I just have to do it". And as I see people try to fit the bikini suit....... I'm doing this to stay alive. Fighting against flesh has never been this hard for me to be honest. And I still don't know how to do this because this is not only a physical matter but also my mental.<br />
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Someone once told me that we shouldn't test God for the health He has given us with. And another saying that says... everything, including physical is a way to worship God. Now, at my rock bottom in my relationship with everything, I ask myself, "Is it too late? Will I get through this? Will I survive to live years later?". I try.... and it's really hard not to rely on my own understanding for my own thoughts aren't my best friends right now.<br />
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I realize I can't do this alone......<br />
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I'm writing this not to get any attention but as a reminder everytime I want to give up. As a reminder maybe one day the reason to started it all.Valencia Nghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16641892031577954809noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6124767656392059224.post-39956736280119757542016-07-07T14:44:00.002+07:002016-07-07T14:44:34.742+07:00Something 'bout tree. A quote. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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"For me, trees have always been the most penetrating preachers. I revere them when they live in tribes and families, in forests and groves. And even more I revere them when they stand alone. They are like lonely persons. Not like hermits who have stolen away out of some weakness, but like great, solitary men, like Beethoven and Nietzsche.<br />
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In their highest boughs the world rustles, their roots rest in infinity; but they do not lose themselves there, they struggle with all the force of their lives for one thing only: to fulfil themselves according to their own laws, to build up their own form, to represent themselves. Nothing is holier, nothing is more exemplary than a beautiful, strong tree.<br />
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When a tree is cut down and reveals its naked death-wound to the sun, one can read its whole history in the luminous, inscribed disk of its trunk: in the rings of its years, its scars, all the struggle, all the suffering, all the sickness, all the happiness and prosperity stand truly written, the narrow years and the luxurious years, the attacks withstood, the storms endured. And every young farm-boy knows that the hardest and noblest wood has the narrowest rings, that high on the mountains and in continuing danger the most indestructible, the strongest, the ideal trees grow.<br />
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Trees are sanctuaries. Whoever knows how to speak to them, whoever knows how to listen to them, can learn the truth. They do not preach learning and precepts, they preach, undeterred by particulars, the ancient law of life.<br />
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A tree says: A kernel is hidden in me, a spark, a thought, I am life from eternal life. The attempt and the risk that the eternal mother took with me is unique, unique the form and veins of my skin, unique the smallest play of leaves in my branches and the smallest scar on my bark. I was made to form and reveal the eternal in my smallest special detail.<br />
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A tree says: My strength is trust. I know nothing about my fathers, I know nothing about the thousand children that every year spring out of me. I live out the secret of my seed to the very end, and I care for nothing else. I trust that God is in me. I trust that my labor is holy. Out of this trust I live.<br />
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When we are stricken and cannot bear our lives any longer, then a tree has something to say to us: Be still! Be still! Look at me! Life is not easy, life is not difficult. Those are childish thoughts. Let God speak within you, and your thoughts will grow silent. You are anxious because your path leads away from mother and home. But every step and every day lead you back again to the mother. Home is neither here nor there. Home is within you, or home is nowhere at all.<br />
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A longing to wander tears my heart when I hear trees rustling in the wind at evening. If one listens to them silently for a long time, this longing reveals its kernel, its meaning. It is not so much a matter of escaping from one's suffering, though it may seem to be so. It is a longing for home, for a memory of the mother, for new metaphors for life. It leads home. Every path leads homeward, every step is birth, every step is death, every grave is mother.<br />
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So the tree rustles in the evening, when we stand uneasy before our own childish thoughts: Trees have long thoughts, long-breathing and restful, just as they have longer lives than ours. They are wiser than we are, as long as we do not listen to them. But when we have learned how to listen to trees, then the brevity and the quickness and the childlike hastiness of our thoughts achieve an incomparable joy. Whoever has learned how to listen to trees no longer wants to be a tree. He wants to be nothing except what he is. That is home. That is happiness.”<br />
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― Hermann Hesse, Bäume. Betrachtungen und GedichteValencia Nghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16641892031577954809noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6124767656392059224.post-832147170469866702016-06-22T19:52:00.002+07:002016-06-28T05:12:42.389+07:00Sorry doesn't simply fix things<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I'm the kind of girl who says sorry too much or not at all. But for the friends, maybe the first one suits me better. I always say sorry. I don't know if I really mean it. I think I do. I hope I do. But for saying sorry that much, I guess, sometimes ... I don't. </div>
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Maybe I hope that sorry is a magic word that can make things all rainbow and sunshine. I remember when I was 2nd grade in elementary school I faked a bit tear and I cried for having 40/100 for the math test. And I said sorry to my mom. And she forgave me. And to be fair, I wonder if all those who hurt me in the past lined up and said sorry. I know I would forgave them, too. </div>
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And maybe I've never realized it but I took sorry for granted, sometimes. Even worse, sometimes I'd rather not to say it at all. Especially to my closest ones. I'd keep it and suck it, and hope that they'd forget it. But they didn't, did they. They'd remember. But maybe they treasured the relation too much so they chose to stay. </div>
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Recently someone said sorry to me. But the sorry kept spreading to the next questions. What does the sorry stand for? Does it real? Is it for ... this... for is it for everything? Can't you see that it doesn't fix things? And I remember I said these words: </div>
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<b>A 'sorry' without the solution or the resolution to be better is just an empty word.</b></blockquote>
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I know fairly it isn't. Sometimes it only takes a bit sorry to heal things. But in this case, I don't think it is. What difference a sorry can make? It's just a word. A word against thousands actions.<br />
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And now these words coming back to me like two-edged sword. I made an awful mistake to someone. Really. Awful. And he's actually being kind about it. He kept saying it's okay. But it's not. I kept saying sorry for countless times. I kept telling him that it bothers me also. I kept telling him that I'd seek it and find it.<br />
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<b>But once again, sorry doesn't simply fix things. </b><br />
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It doesn't. Life is not the computer with the Ctrl+Z. Life is anything but it. He still needs the solution for the mess I've made. I still need to fix it. I still need to be responsible to him. And I still have to think until it's found. And no matter how I say or convince him, or even writing this, it simply doesn't matter. It really doesn't.<br />
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It actually makes me frustrated. Seriously I know I've tried. And I'm tired. But I can't just face it and say sorry. But I seriously have no idea what to do. Duh.<br />
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So while here me trying to fix things. I pray hard, to see a bit miracle.<br />
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Please.<br />
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<br />Valencia Nghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16641892031577954809noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6124767656392059224.post-25163108888266023702016-04-28T05:27:00.001+07:002016-04-28T17:28:24.795+07:00(Our) Coffee Shop<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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It once happened like that,</div>
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You brought me to the coffee shop near where you lived</div>
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We sat there for hours and hours til late and it was supposed to close</div>
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We walked outside, slowly, and my tummy felt weird</div>
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Not because of the caffeine that I consumed</div>
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But simply because of how you made me feel </div>
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Then it used to be like that</div>
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We would sit there for hours, at the same corner</div>
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I would open my laptop and you would open yours</div>
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You would try to finish your task </div>
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You would try your best not to be too distracted</div>
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As you couldn't resist not to talk with me </div>
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But even if we sat in the silence, we both felt comfortable </div>
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There was no gap to be filled, we respect each other's space</div>
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Back then we would talk about everything except that gap between us</div>
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Now it happens like this, </div>
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I would sit on the same corner, I would order the same coffee</div>
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They never have to ask for my coffee nor my name again </div>
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I will still open my laptop, and I will try my best not to be too distracted</div>
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As everytime I hear the barista spells a name like yours</div>
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I will sit straightly and I can feel my heart is pounding once again </div>
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What a curse, as your name is a common name </div>
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There must be thousands! </div>
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But they weren't you. They aren't you. </div>
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For you once left. And never come back again </div>
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And I will sit here, once again, </div>
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Everyday</div>
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With a slight hope</div>
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How I hope to see you open that door again!</div>
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So here I am. </div>
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. </div>
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<i>5.26 am. It's just a work of fiction inspired by hours that I spent doing my deadline once on a coffee shop nearby.</i></div>
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<br />Valencia Nghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16641892031577954809noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6124767656392059224.post-64519840170854927122016-04-16T22:06:00.002+07:002016-04-16T22:13:00.142+07:00The Unsent Letter<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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"The pain that you've been feeling, can't compare to the joy that's coming."<br />
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- Romans 8:18<br />
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To you, </div>
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I try to wonder how the finish line will be like </div>
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Right now, with the upcoming deadlines and all, </div>
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It's harder than ever to imagine it that way</div>
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I imagine it will be a day with a light rain</div>
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You will attend on my graduation day </div>
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I can finally say to you, "I've made it"</div>
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<br /></div>
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But now, it's hard to imagine it that way</div>
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As I called you in the middle of the night with shaky voice</div>
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Exhausted as I've been, sick as I am, being vulnerable and weak</div>
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Admitting silently that you're right. That you're always right. </div>
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Too often I am too focused on my own track I forget about myself</div>
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Too often I am too focused and forget about you, too </div>
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<br /></div>
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Sorry that my dreams may not align with yours</div>
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I'm not even ready to ask or to tell you that<br />
I'm still trying to figure it all out</div>
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I know you'll always be annoyed with my choices</div>
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You never understand me the way they do </div>
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You may never get it why I do what I do </div>
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But in the end, when they all leave and forget me </div>
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You'll always be the one who will stay</div>
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You'll always be the one who will pray</div>
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You'll always be the one whom I turn to</div>
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So I can't promise I can make you proud</div>
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But with all these tears and struggles, </div>
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I simply want you to know.... in every step,</div>
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I'm doing this with thought of you<br />
and I hope you know that<br />
<br />
Love. </div>
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<br /></div>
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Valencia Nghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16641892031577954809noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6124767656392059224.post-26931704407654745102016-04-11T04:43:00.001+07:002016-04-11T04:51:34.633+07:00The Year of Wonderful Unknown<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<i>"Here we go, going in alone into the dark and wonderful unknown, let us go, let us go"</i><br />
- Wonderful Unknown, Ingrid Michaelson<br />
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Every December for the last few years, I will start reflecting what God has been doing my life throughout the year and seeking for what He's going to do for the upcoming year. Last year made no difference. I had chickenpox at the end of November and I had extra 2 weeks to stay at home, doing nothing. That was the time when I got the chance to think and rethink everything.<br />
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I did not know why but somehow I got a blurry vision. For me at that time, 2016 seemed so blurry with every change I'd face and all. I couldn't explain it why. But all I knew, 2016 would be a leap of faith for me.<br />
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Then through the devotions and all. I was reminded over and over again of this sentence "I will be with you" from Isaiah 43. And somehow I got out of nowhere the Valley of Vision's prayer for new year:<br />
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"<b>I launch my bark on the unknown waters of this year,</b><br />
with Thee, O Father as my harbour,<br />
Thee, O Son, at my helm,<br />
Thee O Holy Spirit, filling my sails.<br />
Guide me to heaven with my loins girt,<br />
my lamp burning,<br />
my ear open to Thy calls,<br />
my heart full of love,<br />
my soul free."<br />
- part of Praying for A New Year - Puritan Prayers<br />
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then later I got this prayer from Sir Francis Drake that inspired me so much:<br />
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"Disturb us, Lord, when<br />
We are too well pleased with ourselves,<br />
When our dreams have come true<br />
Because we have dreamed too little,<br />
<b>When we arrived safely</b><br />
<b>Because we sailed too close to the shore.</b><br />
<br />
Disturb us, Lord, when<br />
With the abundance of things we possess<br />
We have lost our thirst<br />
For the waters of life;<br />
Having fallen in love with life,<br />
We have ceased to dream of eternity<br />
And in our efforts to build a new earth,<br />
We have allowed our vision<br />
Of the new Heaven to dim.<br />
<br />
<b>Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly,</b><br />
<b>To venture on wider seas</b><br />
<b>Where storms will show your mastery;</b><br />
<b>Where losing sight of land,</b><br />
<b>We shall find the stars.</b><br />
<br />
We ask You to push back<br />
The horizons of our hopes;<br />
And to push into the future<br />
In strength, courage, hope, and love."<br />
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Somehow, I got the vision and I used the words "Wonderful Unknown" based on Ingrid Michaelson's song title (the lyrics didn't mean a lot except a story about newly wed). I barely see anything for 2016.... all things seemed so unpredictable. But I know it will be wonderful. The only predictable thing is that I know my God is good.<br />
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I think God always has something interesting when it comes to sea. Whether to find disciples, walk on the water, part the sea, calm the storm, by faith to throw the mountains in the midst of it, put someone in the belly of the whale, cast our sins, or even to describe His love. It's just the wonder, the fascination, the mystery of it. As I'm facing the uncertainties and sailing to the unknown this year, I let Him be the captain.<br />
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<b>So basically the vision is to embark and embrace the unknown journey with known God. So the emphasis will be TRUST, EXPLORE, and REVEAL all the way of this pilgrimage. So however it will end up, whether in the belly's whale, walk on the storm, calm the raging seas, cast our sins, or even part the sea.... I will be valiant enough to go on if I'm with Him.</b></blockquote>
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And through these last 4 months, I can say it's more unpredictable than ever. So many experiences that have made me to trust God more than ever. My plan got mixed-up. I had to schedule and reschedule everything. I have to trust and surrender more than I thought it would be.<br />
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Then, for exploring.... I can say I have fun doing that wkwkwk. I start it from the simple things. This year, I start eating foods from places I've never been. Or reading the books from really different point of views. Or even watching movies genres I used to dislike. Try new experiences more than ever. Talk to people I've never talked before. And I start liking some people who were once strangers. For this point, maybe all I can say I'm grateful ;)<br />
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Frankly to say, there are so many uncertainties this year. I have classes without my usual classmates, which means I have to work with new team and to meet my juniors. I have to leave SFS and my organization life and start a new campus ministry I've never known before. I have to find internships much sooner just when I thought it would be in early 2017. I have to made myself clear about my Christian worldview in order to find new place to grow in new community. I also have these never-ending questions for God about whether should I stay, should I go. It became clear that I have this heart, whether it's for traditional one, or for youths, or for Christian media. At this point, I feel like I have to leave everything that I've known to sail to the unfamiliarity. It feels like going from Jakarta & high school to moved to university all over again. I have to adapt. And to be honest, leaving comfort zone is never easy. Fighting against flesh is also not easy for me. It's hard. It's uncertain. It's so much easier said than done.<br />
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Last year I had one-word-resolution, which was : "Love". And at first I thought this year would be all about Faith. But.... however, as this year unfolds, I also learn and re-learn about love. And hope. It's just never-ending process, I guess.<br />
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If you want to know more what this year is all about : <a href="https://www.pinterest.com/fvalencian/2016-the-wonderful-unknown/" target="_blank">Pinterest</a><br />
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Here's a playlist to accompany me throughout the year :<br />
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<ol>
<li>Amanda Cook - Voyage</li>
<li>Amanda Cook - Shepherd</li>
<li>Josh Bates - Never give up on me</li>
<li>Steffany Gretzinger - Steady heart</li>
<li>Steffany Gretzinger - Getting there</li>
<li>Delirious - History maker</li>
<li>Hillsong worship - Here with you</li>
<li>Hillsong United - Oceans</li>
<li>Hillsong United - Captain</li>
<li>Hillsong Y&F - Sinking deep </li>
<li>Jamie Grace - You lead</li>
<li>Bethel Music - You make me brave </li>
<li>Bethel Music - God I look to You</li>
<li>Bethel Music - It is well</li>
<li>Bethel Music - In over my head</li>
<li>JJ Heller - This year</li>
<li>Casting Crowns - Follow me </li>
<li>Casting Crowns - Voice of truth</li>
<li>Ginny Owens - No borders</li>
<li>Ginny Owens - Deeper </li>
<li>Ginny Owens - I am Yours</li>
<li>Selah - Be thou my vision</li>
<li>MercyMe - You know better</li>
<li>Moriah Peters - To leave it behind</li>
<li>Jhene Aiko - Eternal Sunshine</li>
<li>Joe Mendick & Kyle Selig - Sailing again </li>
<li>Yiruma - Lord, hold my hand</li>
<li>For King & Country - Steady</li>
<li>For King & Country - Shoulders</li>
<li>Sidewalk Prophets - Homeless Heart</li>
<li>Sidewalk Prophets - Help me find it</li>
<li>William McDowell - I give myself away</li>
<li>Ingrid Michaelson - Wonderful Unknown</li>
<li>JPCC Worship - More than enough</li>
<li>Sovereign Grace - Gladly would I leave behind me</li>
<li>Aurora - Half the world away</li>
<li>Ivan Handojo - Pada waktunya</li>
<li>A Great Big World - You'll be okay</li>
<li>Worshipmob - Dream again</li>
<li>Hall & Oates - You make my dreams</li>
</ol>
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So here's to the trust without borders, to the wonders of the adventure, to the stillness of soul through the storm, to the hope as the anchor, and grace that will sink me deeper. So here's to the steady voyage as a pilgrim. So here we go. God has been faithful then. He will be faithful still. </div>
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<br />Valencia Nghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16641892031577954809noreply@blogger.com2