The Year of Wonderful Unknown
"Here we go, going in alone into the dark and wonderful unknown, let us go, let us go"
- Wonderful Unknown, Ingrid Michaelson
Every December for the last few years, I will start reflecting what God has been doing my life throughout the year and seeking for what He's going to do for the upcoming year. Last year made no difference. I had chickenpox at the end of November and I had extra 2 weeks to stay at home, doing nothing. That was the time when I got the chance to think and rethink everything.
I did not know why but somehow I got a blurry vision. For me at that time, 2016 seemed so blurry with every change I'd face and all. I couldn't explain it why. But all I knew, 2016 would be a leap of faith for me.
Then through the devotions and all. I was reminded over and over again of this sentence "I will be with you" from Isaiah 43. And somehow I got out of nowhere the Valley of Vision's prayer for new year:
"
I launch my bark on the unknown waters of this year,
with Thee, O Father as my harbour,
Thee, O Son, at my helm,
Thee O Holy Spirit, filling my sails.
Guide me to heaven with my loins girt,
my lamp burning,
my ear open to Thy calls,
my heart full of love,
my soul free."
- part of Praying for A New Year - Puritan Prayers
then later I got this prayer from Sir Francis Drake that inspired me so much:
"Disturb us, Lord, when
We are too well pleased with ourselves,
When our dreams have come true
Because we have dreamed too little,
When we arrived safely
Because we sailed too close to the shore.
Disturb us, Lord, when
With the abundance of things we possess
We have lost our thirst
For the waters of life;
Having fallen in love with life,
We have ceased to dream of eternity
And in our efforts to build a new earth,
We have allowed our vision
Of the new Heaven to dim.
Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly,
To venture on wider seas
Where storms will show your mastery;
Where losing sight of land,
We shall find the stars.
We ask You to push back
The horizons of our hopes;
And to push into the future
In strength, courage, hope, and love."
Somehow, I got the vision and I used the words "Wonderful Unknown" based on Ingrid Michaelson's song title (the lyrics didn't mean a lot except a story about newly wed). I barely see anything for 2016.... all things seemed so unpredictable. But I know it will be wonderful. The only predictable thing is that I know my God is good.
I think God always has something interesting when it comes to sea. Whether to find disciples, walk on the water, part the sea, calm the storm, by faith to throw the mountains in the midst of it, put someone in the belly of the whale, cast our sins, or even to describe His love. It's just the wonder, the fascination, the mystery of it. As I'm facing the uncertainties and sailing to the unknown this year, I let Him be the captain.
So basically the vision is to embark and embrace the unknown journey with known God. So the emphasis will be TRUST, EXPLORE, and REVEAL all the way of this pilgrimage. So however it will end up, whether in the belly's whale, walk on the storm, calm the raging seas, cast our sins, or even part the sea.... I will be valiant enough to go on if I'm with Him.
And through these last 4 months, I can say it's more unpredictable than ever. So many experiences that have made me to trust God more than ever. My plan got mixed-up. I had to schedule and reschedule everything. I have to trust and surrender more than I thought it would be.
Then, for exploring.... I can say I have fun doing that wkwkwk. I start it from the simple things. This year, I start eating foods from places I've never been. Or reading the books from really different point of views. Or even watching movies genres I used to dislike. Try new experiences more than ever. Talk to people I've never talked before. And I start liking some people who were once strangers. For this point, maybe all I can say I'm grateful ;)
Frankly to say, there are so many uncertainties this year. I have classes without my usual classmates, which means I have to work with new team and to meet my juniors. I have to leave SFS and my organization life and start a new campus ministry I've never known before. I have to find internships much sooner just when I thought it would be in early 2017. I have to made myself clear about my Christian worldview in order to find new place to grow in new community. I also have these never-ending questions for God about whether should I stay, should I go. It became clear that I have this heart, whether it's for traditional one, or for youths, or for Christian media. At this point, I feel like I have to leave everything that I've known to sail to the unfamiliarity. It feels like going from Jakarta & high school to moved to university all over again. I have to adapt. And to be honest, leaving comfort zone is never easy. Fighting against flesh is also not easy for me. It's hard. It's uncertain. It's so much easier said than done.
Last year I had one-word-resolution, which was : "Love". And at first I thought this year would be all about Faith. But.... however, as this year unfolds, I also learn and re-learn about love. And hope. It's just never-ending process, I guess.
If you want to know more what this year is all about :
Pinterest
Here's a playlist to accompany me throughout the year :
- Amanda Cook - Voyage
- Amanda Cook - Shepherd
- Josh Bates - Never give up on me
- Steffany Gretzinger - Steady heart
- Steffany Gretzinger - Getting there
- Delirious - History maker
- Hillsong worship - Here with you
- Hillsong United - Oceans
- Hillsong United - Captain
- Hillsong Y&F - Sinking deep
- Jamie Grace - You lead
- Bethel Music - You make me brave
- Bethel Music - God I look to You
- Bethel Music - It is well
- Bethel Music - In over my head
- JJ Heller - This year
- Casting Crowns - Follow me
- Casting Crowns - Voice of truth
- Ginny Owens - No borders
- Ginny Owens - Deeper
- Ginny Owens - I am Yours
- Selah - Be thou my vision
- MercyMe - You know better
- Moriah Peters - To leave it behind
- Jhene Aiko - Eternal Sunshine
- Joe Mendick & Kyle Selig - Sailing again
- Yiruma - Lord, hold my hand
- For King & Country - Steady
- For King & Country - Shoulders
- Sidewalk Prophets - Homeless Heart
- Sidewalk Prophets - Help me find it
- William McDowell - I give myself away
- Ingrid Michaelson - Wonderful Unknown
- JPCC Worship - More than enough
- Sovereign Grace - Gladly would I leave behind me
- Aurora - Half the world away
- Ivan Handojo - Pada waktunya
- A Great Big World - You'll be okay
- Worshipmob - Dream again
- Hall & Oates - You make my dreams
So here's to the trust without borders, to the wonders of the adventure, to the stillness of soul through the storm, to the hope as the anchor, and grace that will sink me deeper. So here's to the steady voyage as a pilgrim. So here we go. God has been faithful then. He will be faithful still.
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