Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?” and I said, “Here am I. Send me!” - Isaiah 6:8

Here I am, again. 

As You find me on my knees, again.

Crying, again

As sometimes I wonder, why did I even bother at the first place?

What was I thinking?

I knew from the very start it's going to be hard,

and the process is going to be painful

Yet I chose to walk upon the water as You called me

as the storm's surrounding me

Yet that time I chose to walk in faith instead of run

I remember I used to run, not after You but from You

I remember I only wanted to have it my way,

I want to have my life! do You remember that?

I didn't understand what is the heart to serve when I began this ministry

yet now I've interviewed bunches of people and I questioned it....

It's not fair, isn't it?

As now things are really different and I begin to question everything

I remember that everything was so different last year

My priority, my focus, and even my motivation

yet You turned that around...

You always, always take me down on my knees again

I've messed up, I've stumbled, and I've failed over and over again

No matter how good people perceive me, they don't know me like You do,

You see the depths of my heart, how deceitful it can be

You know my insecurities, You know I don't deserve this

but why.... why did You chose me?

Here I am, again, longing for the same fire You've given me

longing for the heart

longing for You

I shall never forget that heart, Lord

Here I am, again

Lead me as I lead Your people.